The question is, how many steps do we need to climb?
How long do we stay on each step before we go to the next?
Contemplating on a step for too long, brings it's consequences.
As each memory comes to mind of the trauma I am trying
to heal from, I ask God to to bring His Holy Spirit and heal
each memory, and please take each one away. I wonder why
He is bringing them all to my mind. It only brings pain.
I wonder how many people are walking around, in my
neighborhood only, who are shut down emotionally
because they don't want to feel their grief and sorrow.
We must go on, so we shut down. It's not the answer though.
It takes courage, tremendous courage, to face our feelings.
I used to think my feelings from my deepest wounds and traumas,
would kill me. I really thought I would die if I felt my feelings.
I did discover however, in time, that they didn't. Halleluyah!
One must step over the great divide to heal from these beliefs.
I thought I heard God one day in the early hours of the morning
specifically tell me who my husband was, but as it turns out,
it may not have been God's voice after all. Must be careful to discern.
Moving through on automatic pilot, until I can find my Joy again.
I know where it is, in my Beloved's arms. He's got it waiting for me.
Sleep would be refreshing, but I don't know when that will come.
In the meantime, I press through, and hang on with each breath of life.
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