We're all running from our hearts, it's just that some of us
know it, and some don't. So much pain and disappointment
in these days. I have asked the Lord, what does He want me
to do with it all? I was surprised at His answer.
He told me to NOT to walk away with my tail between my legs,
wounded and silent, but to STEP UP and face my giants!
I wasn't happy with His answer at first. But, that was the beginning
of my breakthrough!
He has assured me that He has me covered. That He is my vindicator
and He will take care of the upsetting and hurtful situations at hand.
Not only that, but that I am His plumb line. He has made me the
kind of person who does in fact cause one to have to look at themselves.
Never have I known this more, that He uses me to bring that "sword",
so to speak. That dividing line, between truth and lies. Simply
by me being the person He has specifically designed me to be,
it causes another to have to look at themselves. This was His idea, not mine.
I am so grateful that He has chosen to build me up, and not tear me down.
He has called me to be authentic, at all costs. To be true to the daughter
He has made me to be, for His Glory, and His purposes. My eyes need to
continually look to Him, and not man, so I am not held back from my destiny!
There is a huge price to pay for being real! Some may love me and others
despise me. But, then I'm in good company, for He was innocent in every way,
yet hated because of TRUTH! I am not alone in this journey, for He is with me.
"His rod and His staff they comfort me." "I am His and He is mine."
After we've gone around the same merry go round
over and over, we must ask the question:
What is the lesson in this?
I received my answer and will attempt to
try that next time. After all, who wants to
continue around and around and around?
It all comes down to GOD! Holding Him tightly,
and everything else loosely. We need to learn
to seek Him first in all of our disappointments.
God wants us to graduate these tests. I think
it breaks His heart to see us repeat the same
behavior again and again and again.
However, being human we tend to repeat
the same ridiculousness until we're exhausted
from the same pain once again!
HELP! The quickest and most effective prayer
that goes up to the Father. Let's hide in the
shelter of His wings, until the disaster has passed.
Everything leads us to nuzzle up to His bosom
and rely only on Him. In His love letter to us,
His Word, it tells us to trust in God.
Let's take God as His Word. He is perfect and
faithful to us and will never withdraw His Love from
us. He is a mighty warrior and He is passionate for us!
He is the answer to every situation! It is only His Love
that changes, transforms and lifts us up. Let's look
to Him for all that we need today and rest in His loving arms.
We're not always going to get the response we would like,
but we need to learn how to move on in spite of that.
We need with God's help to have a firm foundation in Him
which offers us a sturdier security within ourselves.
We have no control over others and their reactions, or non-
reactions for that matter, but no matter, we must "move on."
Part of maturing into who we were truly meant to be, is that
we are not effected by other's responses, but true to ourselves.
My biggest issue is to heal from taking other's behaviors personally.
People's choice of words, actions, or non-actions has nothing to do
with me. I truly desire to be healed from this issue, so that I don't
have to suffer needless hurt in my life. I'm still on my journey.
God allows us to go through all of our emotions to find only Him in the end. He says to hold everything and everyone loosely BUT Him.
No one loves me like He does. If we look to others to fill us up, we will
always come up empty. God uses everything in our lives to bring us back to Himself. Until we see that we are desperate for Him alone.
He is the only One who can fill us up. Everything leads us back to Him.
This is how He has always intended it to be. He is the One who is meant to fill my cup, to overflowing!
When the pain becomes so great, it's finally time to make a change.
Truth be told, we as humans just don't make these changes until then.
I guess we are predictable that way. Sometimes, it feels as if we will
never move past the pain, but we eventually do. God is faithful to heal
and restore, as we invite Him to do what we simply cannot do ourselves!
All of our disappointment leads us back to God.
He is the only One who is perfect.
The inner struggle to not over function and care take others.
Boundaries save lives. Lack of them destroy lives.
It is never about the other person however, but about
our inability to parent ourselves. Let's make the change.
Let's maintain our integrity at all costs. Let's not allow the
evil one to tempt us into sin. The enemy is sneaky and slimy.
Let's stay connected to God, at all costs, for He is our only Hope!
We need to be open to life's changes,
for they are monumental. We can either
accept them, or fight them, but they
will occur nonetheless.
We must face the reality of the seasons
of life. This is the very nature of life itself.
When we remain stagnant over time, eventually
it can create sickness within us denying life itself.
I find this the greatest challenge: Can I accept
myself in my new season? This is truly "key!"
Acceptance of life's seasons and acceptance
of ourselves and the continuance of loving ourselves.
I've been pouring out and pouring out,
it's time to rest and receive from the Fountain of Life.
It is good to give, the ultimate of love,
but it cannot only be that. One must receive.
It is time to PAUSE. To take a "time-out"
and receive from the Master. In the rest, the author will speak.
It's been a struggle to get here, but I am here
and I will rest. Lord, come and bring me the refreshing I need.
Selah.
New days are here,
renewed hope and faith.
Possibilities are endless
if only we believe.
Cast a vision,
do not let it sink.
Keep it always before you,
and continue to move ahead.
We have the strength of the Master
leaning on him always,
listening and watching,
for our next command.
He is forever faithful,
as we give Him our "Yes."
He will do mighty things,
on the road to His victory!
The heart knows it's own adventure,
and the mind is an alien to it!
The longing of the heart which
makes no sense to the mind.
Acceptance is 'key' here,
but creates it's own challenge.
Prayer is the only answer
in times such as these.
Asking the Maker to reveal
His perfect plans in His time.
Selah.
It sneaks in when one is unawares.
There is no explanation for it.
One cannot understand how and when it happened.
One simply finds it there and is helpless to remove it.
LOVE
Sometimes, we must allow ourselves the sleep and the rest that we need.
Sometimes, it can feel as if we are sinking lower and lower into a black hole.
Sometimes, it's ok to go there because we are never alone in it, God is there.
Sometimes, it's necessary to go there so that we can come up again into Joy!
What do you do when you realize
you do not mean the same to someone
as they have meant to you?
You keep swallowing and swallowing
the pain and disappointment but it still
continues. We all have a threshold.
,
For someone like me it's very hard to
not pursue, initiate and fix. It's part of
who I've always been. I need to drop the ball.
You see when we do that, we really get clear
vision as to the desire of the other person.
Or maybe they're just used to us holding it together.
I don't feel honored, in fact I feel very much the opposite.
It's time to talk. They don't have to like what I have to say,
after all, they're only feelings, they're not facts.
My feelings represent my heart and that matters to God,
despite how it effects the other person. I don't live for their
acceptance and approval but for God's. He cares.
Father, please lead me to the right words and the right timing.
This is not an accusation but simply an expression of my feelings.
I thought we were each other's best friend, but I guess not.
Can we find a home within ourselves?
Can we find the love of God within our hearts?
No matter where we are, we need to aim for finding
a place to call home within our own lives.
The biggest challenge is looking within ourselves
and touching the deepest pains of our life.
We spend our lives running and running as if we
could escape it. The healthiest thing is actually facing it.
We need to have a very strong foundation to not cave in
to peer pressure all around us. We need to hold onto our
unique person in the midst of the pressure of mainstream
society putting the crunch on to assimilate.
There is just one of each of us, so it is critical that we do not
succumb to conformity and betray the individual God has
created within us for His Glory and purposes. We must stand
strong in this fallen world and hold on tight to our Savior.
God has designed such a beautiful creature in each of us,
and we truly need to embrace who that is, at all costs.
"I shall not die but I shall live to see every purpose of God
fulfilled in my lifetime!" To life - L'Chaim!
All my life I ran away, trying to escape my pain
only to find that it is still here, staring me between the eyeballs.
I see clearly the root of it now, and I realize I desperately need to grieve
the loss of what I unfortunately never received as a child from my father.
Of course I drew all the wrong men into my life because it was just a repeat
of what I was accustomed to growing up with, emotional neglect and abandonment.
The worst part of it is, the feelings the neglect left me with. Not just with never having the proper attention from my birth mother, but most especially from my father.
I realize today, that He had no tools, but I am definitely not make excusing for him.
How is it that I am of this age and still do not have a close relationship with him?
I must grieve what I never had, forgive him, and look to my heavenly Father for
the value within myself that He has placed upon me. This is the hardest thing.
Having to learn what I mean to my Father in heaven. That the feelings I have been
left with from abandonment and neglect is not my Heavenly Father's value of me.
It is very difficult to break through because my imprint from life experience has
no resemblance of God's feelings and value of me. Father help me!
I must be delivered from these terrible feelings deep within my soul. That I am nothing. I have no value. That I am not good enough, nor worthy enough to be loved.
I need the healing of the Father and nothing else will do. I need to forgive my father
and release Him to you Father. I must grieve my loss and look to you now! Selah.
Oftentimes we wish we were just one consistent way.
In the past, I had found myself saying, "This isn't who I am",
or "This isn't like me." But the truth is, the sooner we can
accept that that we are many ways, and not just, "one way",
we can on with the business of life!
The problem comes when we refuse to accept the "unhappy"
part of ourselves. We are really rejecting the unhealed parts
of ourselves, and only accepting the "happy" parts. This is
not loving nor kind. The way I look at it is, in this world there
is much hardship, and the very least we can do is be good to ourselves.
Self-love, self-care, self-respect, etc.,, are critical for each of us
to have a successful life. What does that mean? For me, "success"
is measured by the love I can extend to God, myself, and others.
If I do not love myself with the Love God has put within my heart
I certainly will not be successful in loving others.
Let's make the decision today to unlearn wrong beliefs about ourselves,
but beginning with wrong beliefs about God which spiral into our
everyday lives onto ourselves and others, and to replace them with
the truth of God's love for us! This is critical in having a successful life.
Let's "put off" the old and "put on" the new. Our role is to acknowledge
the lies we have believed about God which have effected our lives, and
get a right understanding of who He is, His Love for us, and begin anew!
When the life has been knocked out of you
from unexpected disappointment,
it can truly throw into a tailspin.
The only way out of this shock
is to surrender it to God.
There is simply no time for this derailment.
Why are we here again? Why this disappointment again?
I see that the change needs to happen within me.
How do I guard my own heart from this repeated sorrow?
I see my pattern is to pour out all my love
but when the other person is not the same
it's just not a safe place to be.
I will always be responsible for my heart,
so I need to do things differently.
I wish I could get away from the pain of disappointment.
As long as I realize that I need to take responsibility
for my own feelings and I need to make right decisions
for myself, I hope to advance forward into healthy decision making.
I don't think that pain is something we are supposed to live with.
There is unavoidable pain I suppose, but I am not referring to that.
What I am addressing is, due to the self-esteem we have had, or not had for that matter we continue on in unhealthy relationships. This pain from these
relationships is what I am referring to.
Something has to be done. We cannot continue on feeling dishonored by
our friends. I understand that it has nothing to do with ourselves in this
matter when they never really have honored us. We have simply put up
with this for way too long. God is not glorified in this. It brings him only
grief and sadness. If He honors us, He would want us to honor one another.
We have all the power in the world over our own decisions. This God has
given to us. We have got to make "right" decisions for our lives. God gives
us free choice and that will always be ours. Let's talk with God about our
unhealthy relationships and ask Him how to proceed in our best interest.
Though it may be scary to confront our loved ones, we must be true to God
by being true to ourselves and take good care of ourselves! Selah.
It amazes me how long I've been in denial.
We learn to survive, and in order to do so,
we deny our reality. Time!
Truth hurts and why would anyone want to feel it?!
It all makes so much sense to me now why I've
chosen the partners I have. Par for the course.
There comes a time when we cannot take on
the garbage anymore. Taking a stand will
certainly ruffle other's feathers, but we need to.
Life is not easy for sure, and there are these times
that we are called to "draw a line in the sand."
It is not pleasant nor popular, but it is necessary.
