heart's desire. Either that, or I have a serious problem selecting mates. Is this something that I need to be healed from, because I go into denial about what's really happenning, as I'm already emotionally connected to that particular person, making it very difficult to say, "good-bye". If only that "issue" were not there, it could be well. The fact that, "that" issue is not well, could clearly be God's voice saying, "this is not it!"
I realize I am a handful. I am full of life, and I know what I want. I am intimdating to many, because my vunerability and my transparency is threatening to those who have found "other" ways of coping and prefer to not travel down this "truthfulness" road. Sometimes, I wonder, if there really is anyone out there for me? Then I think, "well, I've been married twice and maybe that was it for me, I've had my "marraige" experience.
We're in the end times now, and so I didn't come here to get married, but I'm sure somewhere inside I had hoped I would. All I can do is release it to God, and trust Him for my future. It's in good hands. I realize "next time", I need to do things differently. Don't put myself in the same situation, and pray FIRST about even going out with that person one time. Here I am, picking myself up, and having to wipe off the muck, again! Thank God that everything here in my life is expedited, so that means my healing as well!
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